The Edge of Certainty

The path to the edge of the world is by no means a glamorous one. In fact, such a path involves many encounters with dark and shadowy monsters who expose the most damning and seemingly insurmountable inadequacies in us. Those inadequacies are not so much about the things we cannot do, but rather our willful reluctance to search for the self-deceptive aspects of ourselves to which we have naively bound ourselves. This binding is an unnecessary, self-imposed neuroticism rooted in our refusal to question our most cherished beliefs. Even the noble and meaningful wisdom we acquired through hard-won experience—having once served as our sword, shield, and helmet—no longer protect us and even hinder our balance and aim. This is a profoundly difficult revelation to bear, for the notion that what once saved us–and is now the vice that shackles us–is terrifying. This is because no shield, helmet, or weapon known to us is useful, and the dragon knows this. This is the paradox of transcendence, for at the precipice and maximum exposure to danger is where we find the light that illuminates the Way to the other side. It is only in the face of this new dragon, standing naked and vulnerable, that we come to see what new wisdom is here to equip us with the precise thing we need to slay this frightening and novel foe. I will not say "Do not fear," for it is fear you must face if you are to retrieve the gift that awaits you—a gold you do not yet know of. Instead, I say to you,"Go forth unto fire, and have your false and restrictive preconceptions burned away, then revolutionize the world!"

Allow me to attempt to bring this cryptic, existential torment down to earth. You see, what I'm talking about is the psychological experience of pursuing meaningful endeavors to the inevitable point where the path forward becomes absolutely unclear. Our understanding of "unclear" determines not only how we choose to manage the obscurity of the path but also what we derive from the obscurity itself. Most of us develop particular psychological mechanisms that help us deal with uncertainty. We can look around and observe this, as we see that some people have the proclivity to respond quite aversely to it, often shutting down, running away, or imagining it does not exist. These mechanisms aren't inherently good or bad, but when it becomes a pervasive pattern, it is ultimately not a good long-term solution for life success. On the contrary, other people learn to deal with uncertainty by reducing it to manageable levels, affording them the courage to deal with it more competently. These people have the proclivity to attack it head-on. This, too, is not inherently a good or bad mechanism of dealing with uncertainty, but even this approach has it’s flaws, and they will inevitably catch up to us. I think a useful framework to understand this notion is the degree to which reality—truth—becomes too difficult to bear. Sometimes, the truth really does hurt. Two important experiences to note here are what happens when a person reaches the threshold at which reality becomes too much to bear and that the particular aspects of reality one person may be able to bear could be too much to bear for another. 

What happens when a person reaches the threshold at which reality becomes too much to bear?

Whether we tend to freeze when the path becomes unclear or reduce the complexity down to a more manageable level, the end result is that we are pinned against a reality that's too difficult to deal with. Well, there are implications to the fact that we all have our threshold of fear. I'm deeply interested in the questions we don't ask ourselves when this occurs—if we are even willing to acknowledge that we do not know all there is to know about it. In other words, what are we cutting ourselves from by refusing to explore it? This question can easily be taken as an accusation that we are naive or cowardly, or even an attack on our integrity regarding the thoroughness of our assessment of reality. When we decide reality for ourselves, we cut off the potential for what else it could be, for better or worse. Unfortunately, too often do we decide what reality is before we have taken it to the edge, often shortchanging ourselves regarding the useful potential it may hold. I'm not suggesting we be careless and reckless with our judgments, for there are certainly times when we need to be hasty in our decisions to avoid particular situations or people. However, I'm referring to the times when we might prematurely conclude the unknown of particular circumstances hold no promise. 

Since we cannot possibly comprehend the totality of reality, I believe we are always closer to erroneously inferring an incomplete truth about our circumstances than we are to knowing enough to satisfy the need for conclusive information of those events. In other words, the outright avoidance or reduction of reality to manageable levels leaves too much room for error. Regarding those times when our paths become unclear, we risk responding to the uncertainty based on an undifferentiated source. That is, at that threshold, we declare the unknown holds either threat or promise, but not both. Of course, there are errors to whichever we declare, but I'm speaking to the errors of declaring the unknown only holds threat. Courage guards against these errors, for it is through courage that we derive promise from the unknown. This is because differentiating the unknown often means encountering aspects of reality that expose the holes in our belief systems, which have seemingly served us well up to this point. Perhaps, some of our beliefs have saved us from annihilation, be it physically or existentially. Having the chinks in our armor exposed really means that we can longer deny that some of the cherished beliefs are, in fact, inadequate when it comes to dealing with the novel uncertainty of our paths, and this means facing the fear of moving on from the ideas that once saved us. This is grief, by the way. Our inadequacies are actually an unwillingness to explore the notion that our ideologies prevent us from progressing towards a more complete version of ourselves. 

This is crucial, for it is at these thresholds that we need to be precise. We know we have to be precise because we are aware of the dangers of missing the mark at these points in our lives. We deeply fear missing the mark when we are at the edge of our potential. Therefore, we are seriously tempted to not aim, and to not aim here is to decide it's not worth aiming at. In other words, we reduce the reality of the situation down to one which we can easily justify choosing a different direction—or we outright refuse to look at the thing altogether. We reframe reality to one we can deal with, yet it is really just allowing the more difficult reality to control us. Hence, courage is thus required of us to aim. But to aim with precision, we cannot be hindered. The weight of our shield throws us off balance, and our helmet blurs our sight. To make matters worse, our weapon of choice is no match for this new foe. We are defenseless, in a sense. We are fully exposed and vulnerable to this dragon that stands in our path. But it is the only way we will come to realize what weapon we need. This is the paradox of transcendence: to know the Way, we must first subject ourselves to the darkest edge of our existence, for it is in darkness that we see the light that illuminates the Way. Therefore, to willingly and courageously enter into the flames so that we may burn off our preconceived notions that obscure our vision is to expose ourselves to maximum danger, and there we have nothing to fear. There, our revolution begins. 

In the next blog, I will discuss the idea that the particular aspects of reality one person may be able to bear could be too much to bear for another.